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Tag Archives: waiting

The Art of Waiting

17 Monday Dec 2012

Posted by CurateMike in All, Ordinariness

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God, monastery, monk, waiting

Stoplights have been the bane of my existence. I seem to have the natural ability to time stoplights just so that I have to stop at nearly every one. And, just so you understand the depth of this ability, not only do I encounter most lights as they are red, no, I come to them just as they are turning red. In this way I have the privilege of waiting through the entire cycle before getting the green light to go. So pronounced is this ability of mine that my wife actually comments whenever I do encounter a light that is green and I move through the intersection without having had to stop.

I actually don’t believe it is an ability at all. Rather, what I really believe is that I am about one second out of phase with the universe. In other words, I feel that if I could somehow jump ahead one second in time then I would get mostly green lights rather than red. Now, you may think this is foolishness, but it is actually a testable hypothesis and, in fact, has been tested. To my own satisfaction I have been proven right.

You see, the keepers of the world’s official time, Coordinated Universal Time (UTC), occasionally add a leap second to keep the clocks on track. This is necessary because of the slight variations in the Earth’s rotational period. The last time a leap second was added was June 30, 2012, roughly six months ago. A funny thing happened…I began to make the green lights. Not just a few; rather, I made nearly every green light. It was most remarkable. I zipped around town with minimal stops and arrived early at every appointment. This lasted for weeks. Gradually, however, I began to encounter more and more red lights. Finally, much to my dismay, I found myself returned to my assigned place in the universe: one second out of phase.

Perhaps it is this opportunity to wait at stop lights that causes me to think so often about “waiting” and the ordinariness of day-to-day life.

So, because of the many hours I spend waiting at stoplights each year, you can imaging what a relief smartphones have been to my waiting. I found that my time at a stoplight was transformed from interminable waiting to an opportunity to stay connected by checking email, texting, or web surfing. At each light I had the ability to distract myself from waiting by being productive or with mindless activity, it seemed to matter little which, as long as I was no longer simply “waiting.” I was living a stoplight life of bliss.

Over time, however, I began to notice the gradual loss of my ability to wait in any situation. Waiting for a computer to boot, waiting on the microwave timer, waiting on another to finish talking, waiting for winter to end…in these and so many other instances I was annoyed at the waiting and longed for distraction. And that is when I began to more fully understand the ancient spiritual discipline of solitude and silence.

I used to understand solitude and silence as a way to gain some psychic distance from the noise of the world and, for Christians, to hear God more clearly. Given my monk-like nature, I liked my extended experiences of solitude and silence, and when back in the noise I found myself longing for the quiet; the noise is often overwhelming to me. Then the stoplights came to mind and the disciple of solitude and silence took on new meaning.

There is no reason, I decided, that I couldn’t have a monastery within. Solitude and silence could be an inner condition bolstered by the occasional actual experience of getting away. If I let them, the experiences of stop lights could also help; by sitting quietly at stop lights, avoiding the temptation of distraction, I find now that I am able to foster a more continual sense of inner solitude and silence resulting in a deeper peace and increased awareness of God. Now, I find that I measure my response at encountering a red light on a peace–frustration scale, and I find that the when my life is harried and out of balance my red light frustration is much higher; the opposite in my life brings peace at red lights.

So, avoiding distraction and “waiting well” has become a way for me to cultivate an inner monastery of solitude and silence in the noise of everyday life; it is a place from which I find I can be more attentive to life itself and, more importantly, more attentive to God.

And attention, as French philosopher Simone Weil asserts, is the only faculty of the soul that gives us access to God.

If true, and I believe it is, then why would I want to live life other than in an attitude of attentiveness.

How to Wait?

28 Wednesday Nov 2012

Posted by CurateMike in All, Ordinariness

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Tags

Advent, God, Jesus, suffering, waiting

For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. … But I am hard-pressed from both directions, having the desire to depart and be with Christ, for that is very much better; yet to remain on in the flesh is more necessary for your sake.
–Apostle Paul, Philippians 1:21-24

Waiting. Sometimes I find it harder to wait than other times. Perhaps it has to do with what I’m waiting for and the circumstances I’m in at the time.

“Wait until your dad gets home” was a phrase I heard from my mom from time to time during my growing up years. That was anxiety-filled waiting. My wife and I will be vacationing to a Caribbean island this Spring; that is excitement-filled waiting. Christmas is coming, there are presents to buy and decorations to set up. That is an activity-filled waiting.

During Christmas we celebrate the Advent season. This season, the four Sundays before Christmas, is when we remind ourselves of those generations of Jews who spent their lives waiting on the Messiah, and when we remind ourselves that we, too, wait on His return. As the Bible tells us, it is an activity-filled waiting. We are to go about the business of building a relationship with Christ and following Him into the world to love others with His love.

Paul felt torn, “hard-pressed from both directions,” in his waiting. For him, to die and be with Christ was better, to stay for the sake of the Philippian Christians was necessary. Wouldn’t it be instructive to talk with him about that? It would be for me. I don’t think I’m waiting very well right now. I am desperately impatient to be in union with Christ.

Paul says he was taken up into the “third heaven” (2Corinthians 12:2). “After that experience,” I would ask him, “how do you continue to wait so well?” He had an earlier encounter with Jesus, later he was “caught up to the third heaven”; it must have made waiting so very difficult. He must have certainly experienced a momentary fulfillment of the great hope we who follow Christ have: to be in the presence of Love Himself. What he must have felt! How can he honestly then say he is “hard-pressed from both directions”?

How is Paul able to not cry out with the Psalmist, “How long, O Lord?”as he yearns to be with Jesus.

Of course, God, if Paul is unavailable I’d enjoy talking with Moses or Elijah. Both had direct encounters with God. But, perhaps the best conversation would be with Jesus, Himself. After all, He came to earth, “emptying Himself” by fully taking on human nature subject to pain and suffering and temptation, deprived of glory until the end.

Jesus must have felt “hard -pressed from both directions,” too. Yet, He endured, suffering the burdens of daily life, which we join Him in His suffering, thus participating with Paul in “filling up what is lacking in Christ’s afflictions.” Christians suffer for and from the world, pastors additionally suffer for and from His Church. It is hard.

So I wait, and not well right now. My impatience makes me restless, wanting to hurry time along. I would still like to have that conversation with Paul; however, the strength to wait well will only come from Jesus. Advent will be particularly good for me this year; it reminds me to wait well.

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